I did not grow up in a consent culture.

I grew up in a slut-shaming, reckless behaving, give it away-ing, game playing, self-betraying, super degrading kinda culture.

I did not grow up in the know your wants, speak your needs, strong boundaries,

say no with confidence and self-respect, personal strength kinda culture.

I grew up in the “me too,” before everyone had confirmed that it was me and you, and you and you and you, kinda culture.

I grew up in the poked and prodded days, from doctors to strangers to boys in my grade,

The doing it just to do it days,

The “here’s my body, take it” ways,

The fake it and never make it days.

No, I did not grow up in a consent culture.

I grew up in the cajoling days, ignoring my no days, not knowing therewas a “fuck yes” days,

The give it away so you’ll like me days,

The “if I keep doing this, I’ll eventually learn something about myself days.

I grew up in the lack of self-worth days, the shove it under the rug days and hope it goes away days,

The never heard of red flag days,

The speaking your needs is needy days,

The saying no will hurt his feelings days,

The easygoing girls are best days.

No, I definitely did not grow up in a consent culture.

And now I’m in the healing days,

The learning new ways days,

The heartfelt revealing days,

The connecting to my needs days,

The letting go of shame days,

And the “it’s never too late to start” days.

I live in a healing culture now, calling all the pieces back home kinda days,

Learning to live in my authentic, soulful expression kinda ways.